Sunday, December 19, 2010

cutter

No one knows
No one can see
I am a cutter

I do not use knives
I do not use razors
I am a cutter

My weapon is words
My weapon is thoughts
I am a cutter

I am abusive
I am mean
I am a cutter

I am more
I am less
I am a cutter

I am strong
I am invincible
I am a cutter

Friday, October 29, 2010

Full

Of nothing
Full to the brim
Always full
Yet empty
Of anything
Happy on a whim
Endlessly null
It is missing
Someone to be kissing
Something to be making
A mother’s heart quaking

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Well, I guess I never did my timeline, maybe looking at the whole of your life is a daunting task, so I'm just gonna take it back to 1998 and go until 2002 when I returned to Memphis. I'll have to do the next 8 years after that. Here goes!

March 1998 - Auditioned in NYC for the American Academy of Dramatic Arts and fell in love with the Big Apple.
May 1998 - Accepted to AADA and was elated, not by the opportunity, but that I would get to live in my new found loves warm embrace.
October 1998 - Moved to NYC, OK, OK, Hoboken, NJ, but I had a view of the Empire State Building from my bathroom and kitchen window and who in NYC could afford that? I also began school at AADA.
April 1999 - Began working at an Irish pub.
May 1999 - Finished year one and AADA and I both agreed that it was time for us to part ways. I was there for NYC, and couldn't commit to the acting regimen.
June 1999 - Began taking workshop acting classes at HB Studios in the West Village and dating a Hoboken boy who was tattooed, mystical and nothing but trouble.
August 1999 - 1st visit home and I couldn't wait to get back to the city.
June 2000 - Moved to studio apartment in downtown Jersey City and began working at Chart House, broke up with Hoboken boy, still taking classes at HB, still believing the dream of fame.
August 2000 - met Wade, my soul brother at Chart House, still at HB work shopping Night Mother and got back with Hoboken boy.
September 2001 - well, duh, 9/11, by then living with Hoboken boy in Jersey City Heights and it was nothing but trouble.
October 2001- Dumped Hoboken boy and never saw or spoke to again and moved to Scottish friends apartment, still in JC Heights.
February 2002 - Scottish friend feel pregnant, moved in with her bf, I moved 135 ft. off Ground Zero to the city!!!!!!!! With an acting friend I had been work shopping Night Mother for only $600 a month!
June 2002 - Quit Chart House, earned NY real estate license and began brokering apartments.
September 2002 - not the best broker, unless being broke counts, burnt out on the city, went to stay with Wade in Vermont to work the fall foliage season at an Inn and figure my shit out.
November 2002- Moved home to Memphis, defeated, broke and in need of recreating my life at 27 years old.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Start at the Beginning

So I did it. I set it up. I named it. And here it is. The beginning. The beginning of a new decade. The beginning of my first blog. The beginning of the layout.

I am still unsure what I will write about. But since I talk A LOT according to my husband and mother, I am sure I can find something. I have been thinking about it. What I can write abut and what I don't want to. I most definitely do not want to write about work, I think about it too much as it is. However, I may talk about ideas that are spurned from my work life. High minded questions, not just griping. i am determined this will not be the drivelings of malcontent. I want to combobulate my thoughts. I've had years of negativity and malcontent. I know I can do better than that!

I've thought about writing about what my husband cooks for me (he is such a good cook!), but how would that relate to putting it together for myself. I think poetry is off the table at the moment, since I don't really write poetry.

I think my first assignment is going to be a time line of the milestones of my life. Disney talks about the "power of storytelling" and has its own time line of the company. I think all too often we forget the breadth of our own stories. We don't realize the true essence of all that we have done and its cumulative effect on our mind. I think I forget that I have lived fully. I think I forget my own story. Maybe that will be the true purpose of this blog. To unravel the power of my own story for myself. Maybe even for others.