I have been covering and coping with my discomfort with the world and never understood the real difference until I stopped, cold turkey. Week 2 after quitting smoking I began to realize I had been holding my breath and that it was making me tense, the very tension that I smoked to relieve. Once I started breathing deeply to cope with the addiction and cravings, I was no longer tense. I am realizing a similar thing now that I am not eating sugar and grains. I have been eating until I was uncomfortable when I AM uncomfortable with the world. It is both comfort and punishment. I comfort myself with foods that turn on the good chemicals in my brain, while making my discomfort a reality, something I can feel as my stomach hurts and I feel sick from eating too much.
This is jut one realization on the journey. This is the beginnings of emotional maturity. I haven't always voiced how I feel, but i was terrorizing my own self, my spirit was being damaged by some of the choices I was making, not to mention my body. The thing that got me to do the whole 30 was the promise it would change my life. I am so thankful that it was a true promise. I hope to continue on this path and see all the changes I can from rebelling against my old way of surviving and begin to truly live.
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